Bebo hit it on the head, I think. We live in an epic. A story painted by the Author, infinitely greater and deeper than any Wheel of Time legend. And our lives are simply little shorts, 5,000 word snippits, just a fraction of the whole.

It’s fascinating how God concerns himself with the short stories, though. Not simply because they together weave the fabric of the whole, but because he really cares about the details. The God of Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Daniel, the Lord of Peter and Paul, John and Timothy and Barnabus and Stephen, has placed us next in that same heritage. We stand amid a mighty crowd of witnesses. And, in some way I may never see, his purposes for us, for me, are just as grand.

In more modern history, we look at men and esteem their accomplishments. For some reason, perhaps because I am a writer, I think particularly of C. S. Lewis. We know him for his work, his writings. He chronicled many profound truths inside the allegory of his fiction, painted for us the reality of spiritual warfare in works such as The Great Divorce.

But I don’t think that’s what mattered.

It is instead his life, his family, his friends, his ministry to those that God put close to him. I believe this is what carries the true weight in God’s eyes. How well this particular man did with these things, I do not know, but it reminds me what matters in this life, and it is profoundly simple.

And so a page is turned in this epic. The next thing in this life. I sit and continue to read, with eager anticipation, as the Author weaves his story, both the grand romance of this little planet amid a vast universe, and the tiny little side-plot that is my life.

I went to Hosannah tonight. It’s the weekly worship night over at Whitworth College. I haven’t been in over a year. Somehow, tonight was different.

It was at the end of a rather dry day, spiritually. Just self focused, one of those days you know you’re a sinner and only have God’s grace to stand on, even if it doesn’t feel real right at the moment. I was doing much better after a prayer meeting and Bible study, but something still hung on my heart. Some guilt, I guess it was. That filthy stain I had already scrubbed at earlier in the day. And one scrubbing was all I wanted to endure.

Standing there worshipping, amid a crowd of people I don’t know, though I did recognize a few faces, I was struck by how prideful I had been. Not today, but every other time I had been to Hosannah in the past. I maybe never saw it until tonight, but the dozens of times I had been there, something in me always felt… better… than everybody else. More on top of things spiritually, more keen concerning true Biblical doctrine. Maybe it’s connected to my perception of “Christian” colleges. I’ve often heard from students of such schools, including Whitworth, about the hypocracy of so many students, or how clueless the PKs (pastor’s kids) sometimes are about the real Christian life, and so forth. And so I somehow perceived myself as being better than them. I used to be bothered by the girl (there’s always one) who waves her hands around a lot and dances a little more than anybody else and stands while the rest of the congregation is sitting. I used to wrinkle my brow at the people praying out loud during the songs or being anything that might be associated with, well, the charistmatic movement. I had always judged them. They were just trying to look more spiritual, I thought.

Not tonight, though. Praise God, it was not like that tonight. Tonight I was one of them. Young. A baby. Just a needy infant in the arms of a very big God. I will not boast, the song said. Not in gifts or strength or wisdom. I will not boast. Save in the cross of Christ. For some reason he chose us. Before the foundation of the world, he set us apart and said, “These will be mine. I will make them in my likeness, in my very own image, and they shall be mine. They will flee, and I will chase them down, and they will be mine. I will purchase them with the highest price. For they shall be mine.” Not even the angels have such an amazing honor. Not only made in the image of God, not only the benefactors of an incredible grace and forgiveness, but co-heirs with God’s own Son, to be crowned with glory and to walk with him for the rest of eternity.

I will not boast, save in the cross of Christ. Indeed, I have no other boast.

Okay, little help here. Call it a thinking excercise or whatnot. Let your imagination go. What could America look like if the themes in modern thought continued to the extreme? Postmodernism, existentialism, and especially the stress on “tolerance.” Think 1984, Fahrenheit 451, Equilibrium… Far fetched dystopia.

I’m working on an idea for a book, and a little brain-pooling would be much appreciated. Thanks!

Well, no, I still don’t have a job. Not a “real” one anyway. But at last I’m getting some good hours at the Club. By God’s grace, I’ve lived the last year with absolutely no regular shifts. I’ve been a sub. And yet it has provided me with what I need. In fact, I had several spells where I was working a full 40 hours of other people’s shifts.

I’ve got my own now. I started in the deli this week, for a change of scenery and for a few hours. They gave me Wednesday nights, and I may now get Fridays and Saturday mornings as well. Then my old boss said, “You need more hours?” Hello! But someone else is leaving and she is giving me Thursday nights in the Sport Shop (where I’ve been doing most of my working lately). She also offered Monday nights, which I may take. It just depends on if I made the worship team at church, since I think practices will be on Monday. But now I got money!

Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Now I just need a job that will actually utilize my degree.

God loves you. It doesn’t matter what score you got on that test. Or what those people think of you. It doesn’t matter if somebody you thought was a friend judged you. It doesn’t matter if he ignored you. Or if she laughed in your face.

It doesn’t matter what wrong you have done. That word you said and couldn’t take back. That important thing you were supposed to do for a friend and forgot about. The silence when you should have spoken. That bitterness you felt. The jealousy. That fear. It wasn’t big enough. He is bigger. His grace is enough to cover it. And more.

Forget about that relationship, that job interview, the car accident, the Mastercard bill. Forget about the estranged friend. Right now, all that matters is this: God, who created the heavens with a word and breathed life into your lungs, died on a cross to show you how much he cares. And he is bigger than all those things that seem so much bigger than you right now.

Just trust him.

And know it’s true. He does care.